When Doing the Right Thing Takes Guts

Let’s talk about those moments when something feels off - someone getting harassed, excluded, or mistreated in public. You notice. It’s uncomfortable. Your heart races a little. Maybe you feel frozen, unsure of what to do. But here’s the truth: you have a choice.

And that’s the key - you have a choice. The person being targeted doesn’t. They’re in it, whether they want to be or not.

In that moment, you can walk away, pretend you didn’t see it, or convince yourself it’s not your business. That’s the easy route, and honestly, it’s the one most people take. But there’s another option. You can choose to act - not recklessly, not in a way that puts yourself in danger, but with intention and courage.

Because if you’re not the one in harm’s way, you’re operating from a place of freedom. With that freedom comes a responsibility to those who don’t have the same privilege of choice. You don’t have to be a hero. You don’t have to say the perfect thing. You might stumble over your words or feel awkward, and that’s okay.

What matters is that you’re present. That you’re willing to act. That you care enough to try. Because in a world where too many people look away, even a small act of courage can mean everything.

The Allyship A-B-C-D⁵ model is all about empowering you to empower others. It’s not about playing the hero or making a scene. It’s about showing up when it counts, with care and intention. These are practical tools - things anyone can do - that help shift the moment from harm to support.

And these moments matter. More than we often realize. Because when someone is being harassed or targeted, even small acts of solidarity can remind them that they are not invisible, not alone, and not without support.

Here’s the quick version:

First, assess the situation. Is it safe to step in? If not, don’t go it alone. Call for backup, alert someone nearby, or report it to someone in authority. Your safety matters, too. If it is safe, a simple check-in can go a long way. A quick “Are you okay?” or even a presence beside them can shift the dynamic and signal that they are not alone.

Second, if you missed your chance to act in the moment, don’t worry - it’s not too late.

• Check in afterward. Find a quiet moment and offer a kind word, an open ear, or practical help. They may not want to rehash what happened - and that’s okay. The point is to show that someone noticed and cared. Discretion is fine, but silence helps no one.

• Speak up later. Could something be done to make sure this doesn’t happen again? Can a policy be improved, or a team be trained? And does the person impacted have access to resources - emotional, legal, or otherwise - that could help them recover or respond?

• Distract when appropriate. A light but intentional interruption - spilling a drink, asking for directions, starting an unrelated conversation—can redirect the moment and defuse the situation. Just be careful not to put someone else in harm’s way, even unintentionally. Holding someone accountable doesn’t require humiliation.

• Delegate if you can’t intervene yourself. That might mean calling over a security guard, manager, teacher, or friend. And if no one’s available in the moment, follow up later. Who needs to know? What would support real change?

• Document safely. If you’re in a position to record the interaction and it’s legal to do so, great. But even if you can’t, writing down what happened—who was there, what was said, when and where it occurred—can make a big difference when it's time to report or reflect.

This isn’t about politics or perfection. It’s about living your values with action. Courage! doesn’t always look dramati.c—it’s often quiet, thoughtful, and grounded in the simple belief that we all deserve dignity.

So next time you see something that makes your stomach turn or your heart race, pause and ask yourself:

Can I be as brave as the person who didn’t get to choose to be in this moment?

If the answer is yes - even a little - lean into it. That’s not just allyship. That’s character. That’s how we build trust. That’s how we take care of one another